Real talk, I am sitting here deciding how to begin this post and the reality is is that the last two weeks have been nothing short of hard for me. I know I just wrote a post about seasons and hit on this topic a little but I am here again being vulnerable. The talk about mental health has been a big thing these days. I hear it daily. I see it being talked about over social media. I mean even Jen Gotch made necklaces to help people. It’s real. It’s no joke. Suicides are really real and are stealing peoples lives. Mental health is talked about more but also I think people cringe too. It’s a vulnerable topic but so important to be aware of. We need to know the real stuff about each other! For me it’s really vulnerable to talk about my struggle. I find it hard and emotional. I also have found it to be freeing to talk about. Anxiety and depression took over my being the last two weeks. When I say took over, I mean like I got so lost in it that I didn’t recognize myself. My family suffered from the way I was acting and talking. I felt defeated. I closed myself off. Somedays I talked very little. Other’s I exploded and felt worthless. As someone who believes there is a God who has great things for me, I find it hard to trust that He has me in these times. I just felt like I was failing in everything.
Soooo what have I done. I had hard conversations with my husband about my struggle. I decided to finally connect with a doctor that will check my hormone levels. I talked to my mom. I read my devotional. I continue to work out. I am choosing not to close into my shell. I shared with friends that I am in this place. There isn’t anything magical fixing me but all of these actions are helping. One day at a time. A choice to take a deeper breath before speaking. A choice to laugh. A choice to believe I am loved. A choice to continue to pursue what I love even though I don’t always feel good enough. A choice to believe that God created me with a purpose.
So thats real talk.
Been lounging by the pool in my swimsuit by NU Swim.
Loving my new mules from a small shop. She hand makes each pair!
I started listening to Rayland Baxter lately. It’s a good sound for chill afternoons.
I am drinking lots of coffee at Little Bear Coffee.
Been on the search for some good vintage Levi’s.
Oh I love my new bralette from Wear Proclaim